I’m joining Hoarders Anonymous!!

A few days back I promised a post about the trash and treasures I found while moving the last of my ignored possessions out of my parent’s place.  These were boxes of stuff that had been neglected, ignored, and left behind when I moved out years and years and years ago.  What does that mean…it means that with the exception of one book that I had been going insane trying to find, I didn’t miss any of this shit.  That being said, I got a big kick out of some of this stuff.  Either you will too, or reading this will be 5 minutes of your life you will never get back.  Cheers!!

Holy crap it’s a Taco Bell critter.  I honestly don’t remember what these were called (and apparently didn’t think to look at the tag before it went in the bag to go to the crisis pregnancy center) but I DO remember that our electrician when our home was being built, used to hit Taco Bell for lunch almost every day and would bring toys to us sometimes.  He was awesome!  I also came across the Sprites from Rainbow Bright (also Taco Bell toys) and about those, I would just like to say:
Smeechy Yurble 
because Fruzz Hucko Weezer.
(they had their own language and the toys came with tags that translated phrases…so…Gimme a kiss because I like your face!) 
Carnival animals and toys are always the best…especially when they’re probably 16 years old and you realize that the handwriting on it is that of your husband.  AWWWWWWWWWWW!  It’s true.  Happiness is being with me.  

Some kids collected baseball cards.  Not me.  I collected Lion King Cards (or so it would seem) at some point.  Always good to invest in something with no real cash or resale value.  I guess it’s ok, the kids are having a blast playing with them.

Please note the awesome 80’s tastic glittery hairbands.  Mufasa is not pleased with them.

This was my 1st watch.  Did anyone else have one?  I freakin love it.  No wonder kids our age could tell time so easily, between this and my big clock toy and the owl clock toy-they were slamming us on every front with analog time telling devices.  I will be implementing their use with the kids who have yet to learn to tell time!

Biggest waste of $5 ever…and most brilliant tourist gimmick ever!

MY LIGHT  BRIGHT!!!  And still with a picture!  The light bulb needs replacing, but this was super exciting.

This is my very favorite thing that we found.  It’s my very 1st camera.  If you’re new here, I’m a Documentary Photographer so this was a super exciting find.  I’m totally putting this on a shelf in my new office when we move!  No, Moose…sorry you can’t have it 😦
You got it!  It’s a Nokia brick phone!  I miss the days of unbreakable phones.  I handed this to my son who proceeded to pound it on the floor, throw it from his high chair, and guess what, it still works.  Wonder if Verizon can switch my service back to it because my poor blackberry is taking a BEATING!
Old school 1979 Tonka truck!  HELL YEAH!  My boy will get some fun out of this.  Wish I knew where the horses were 😦
So I found this gem in a box of glass ware.  How it ended up in there is beyond me.  Creepy, no?
It gets better.  
In another box, one full of slutty Barbie clothes…I found 3 more!  
Apparently all those short skirts, tall boots, and tiny tops that Barbie wore over the years before she chunked up and got a breast reduction really DID result in Ken knocking her up!
4 kids!  Hmmmm…that’s vaguely familiar.

Dance till ya can’t dance till ya can’t dance no mo…
It still plays!  I’m listening to it now.  Let me see you moooooooooooove…

Awww!  So cool.  Mooskers loves it!

What child doesn’t need a satanic stick horse?  EVIL!  Moose loves to hit things with it…go figure.

Too bad it’s not real money.  Or a real vintage cash register.  Still cool though.
Lets see…hey kids, can you tell me what apple minus ice cream cone equals?  I feel confusion coming on.  Maybe I should hide this toy. 

Time learning device #2…except that uhm…his left eye has gone kinda wonky soooooooo it’s teaching you the wrong time.  Too bad.  

Time learning device #3…orrrrrrrr something to throw depending on if you’re Moose or not.

Remember when plastic bracelets were JUST plastic bracelets…not secret codes for drugs and sex?  Yeah.  The good old days.

All you need to know about Dillon and uhmmmmmm frick I can’t remember any of their names.  Look, Tori Spelling was still a healthy weight and Shannon Doherty hadn’t been arrested for battery yet!  Awww so innocent!

It would appear that where I was raised, we had problems with incredibly large rabbits and space aliens. 
Not just any picture.  Artist Picture.

OH MY GOD…LOVE THE 80’s MEN!!!
I just want to sing out “I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOUR LOVE AND AFFECTION” at the top of my lungs.  “I CAN’T FACE ANOTHER NIGHT ON MY OWN!”
That’s it, C+C has to go off…going on a Nelson hunt.

Awww.  Love letters from high school…I ❤ my husband 🙂  Always have, always will.

How many post cards of half naked men does one girl  need?  
7!!!

Yes.  Yes we do.

Specifically this one.  
***

Save the best for last!  CATMOPOLITAN MAGAZINE.  WTF?!?  I had this, along with another magazine called PUPPLE WEEKLY, both spoofs of actual magazines (duh) years and years ago.  PUPPLE has gone by the way side but apparently all these years I felt some urge to hold onto a cat glamor mag…which is weird because I’m totally a dog and pony person.
When I got looking at this ridconkulous spoofazine, I had to post some of it and talk about it!  

Ok, now, without the cat photos below the headline, you could be looking at a whole DIFFERENT type of magazine.  In all seriousness, I wonder if someone really sent in that order form cut out, if they would now (or in the past when this was published…1987) have actually received a pin up poster of one of these.  And if they did, what would they do with it.  Or more interestingly, who would order that?

The back cover is about the uhmmmmm…I don’t know if you would call her an author…but the crack head cat obsessed creator.
Apparently she also produced a mag called Dogue.  Gag.  Really??
I’m truly shocked that this only had one issue…and that she wasn’t institutionalized after publication.

I love the black cat’s face…”I will claw your eyes out for this!”

I’m calling animal cruelty on this one!  Who does that to a cat?  Can’t say those products weren’t animal tested!

This one is just for my stalker.  See…there’s nothing wrong with producing mock ads.

So ridiculous.

I’m telling you, she must have had some sort of kitty sedative because if I even pick my cat up when he’s not in the mood, he lacerates my arms.

NO WAY!  A quiz!  Apparently I’m not cut out for a Tom cat.  I’m going to cry myself to sleep tonight…on my catnip pillow.

Shut up.
Catmopolitan in “like new” condition sells for $100 on ebay.  I have a cat crazed sister.  Guess what she’s getting for Christmas…
From toys to memories to ass shots of hot guys and everything in between, I had it at one point and now after this long silly post of silly stuff I once upon a time thought was cool…most of it has hit the recycling bin.  
Good jog down memory lane though.  Only 2 more huge boxes to go!
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~ by Not Yer Bitch on November 11, 2010.

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