Abby & the Dishes

I hate doing household crap.  I hate it.  I do it because its part of my job…I CHOOSE to make it part of my job.  If I chose not to make it part of my job I would be my husband’s ex.  Not: would leave me…but like, I would be functioning like the woman who IS his ex.

I hate vacuuming and dishes the most.  When I was a kid, vacuuming was y household chore, my sister got to dust…way easier…I’m bitter.  Washing dishes by hand inevitably ends in me being soaking wet.  I don’t know how.  I’m just inept like that.

My husband is cool.  I say it all the time, he rocks.  He’s the kinda guy who if he thinks I need the help, will just pick up a rag and dust, or run the vacuum.  I went grocery shopping last weekend and came home to 2 loads of laundry washed, dried and folded…he’s awesome!
EXCEPT when he does the dishes.  THE FRICKIN DISHES!

Here’s the thing.  I don’t have to wash things by hand because we have a fantabulous Whirlpool dishwasher. It does a great job, its 2 years old, love it.  I would make out with it if it were appropriate and not completely weird.  But this dishwasher has this new fangled thing.  Its like an unnecessary grate that flips up and down over the utensil section. 

See the illustrations….love the illustrations….
Right…So I don’t use said grate.  It irritates me.
Here’s why.  (Cuz I just KNOW that understanding my irritation will MAKE YOUR DAY!)
I do a million things every day.  I dislike doing dishes-even with a dish washer.  If this grate is flipped up, I can grab an entire section of utensils at one time with my big mit.  I can also randomly toss utensils down into the sections without having to pay attention to how they are going in.  IF the grate is down you have to gingerly pluck each and every utensil out individually….HOLY TIME WASTER!  Not to mention watching me try to fit things down into those slots is like watching a 6 mo old try to fit a square block into a round hole.  *Hears Carlos Mencia saying Dee-Dee-Dee*
But I FAIL to see why the silverware needs to be separated!  Do they fight once the water goes on?  Do they hold mashed potato wrestling for the spoons (they’re curvy-lets assume they’re women).  Do the steak knives and the butter knives have turf wars?  WHYYYYYYYYY …do they require imdividual slots?!?
So THIS is my way:
But THIS…..
Is my husband’s way.
Can we see the problem?
“OH My God!  This woman’s husband does the dishes and she bitches about the flippy thingy on the silverware?!  What is wrong with her?!?” 
Type A personality (according to the head nurse at the hospital where I had my darling little boy).
Ok honestly, I’d rather have him do the dishes than do them myself…even if he MUST use the flippy thingy.  HAH he’s standing over my shoulder right now…one eyebrow raised…nodding his head saying “Uhhh…huh…”  I have a feeling I just took on the dishes by myself for a while!\
PUBLIC SERVICE COMPLETELY UNRELATED ANNOUNCEMENT:  Deadliest Catch starts in 12 days!  RIP Capt Phil 😦
Ok Sorry, heard that from the other room.
So with man child in lap, husband and kids headed back out to play, I wrap up my uncontrollable and unnecessary rant about dishes and flippy silverware organizing thingies.  Bet that was 5 minutes of your life you will never get back! 🙂
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~ by Not Yer Bitch on March 31, 2010.

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